You’ve done the therapy. Read the books. Tried the mindset work.
You know what you need to do. You understand the concepts. You can even coach others through their challenges.
But when it comes to your own patterns? You’re still stuck.
Not because you’re not smart enough. Not because you’re not trying hard enough.
Because knowing what to do and being able to do it are two completely different things.
And that gap? That’s where transformation gets blocked.
Let me guess what this looks like for you:
You achieve something incredible—promotion, milestone, recognition—and instead of celebrating, you immediately focus on what’s next. The goalposts keep moving.
You set boundaries. You feel good about it for a day. Then you find yourself right back in the same patterns of over-giving, people-pleasing, or burning yourself out.
Maybe you know your inner child needs attention. You’ve read about it. You understand it intellectually. But when you try to access that part of yourself, you hit a wall. Nothing happens. Or worse—you feel silly trying.
You’re tired of surface-level solutions that work temporarily but don’t last.
You’re ready for something deeper. Something that actually sticks.
For 20 years, I was a Senior Manager at KPMG. Now, I am a Transformation Coach specializing in inner child work and nervous system regulation. I’ve identified five core patterns. These patterns keep people who are doing all the ‘right’ things feel stuck despite their best efforts.
The good news? Once you see these patterns clearly, they lose their power over you.
Pattern #1: The “I Should Be Past This By Now” Trap
What it looks like:
You’ve done therapy. You’ve done the work. You “should” be transformed by now. So when the same triggers come up, you feel shame instead of curiosity.
Why it keeps you stuck:
Shame about having patterns keeps you from actually addressing them. You’re so busy judging yourself that you can’t be present with what actually needs attention.
The shift:
Transformation isn’t linear. The fact that something comes up again doesn’t mean you failed—it means you’re ready for a deeper layer. Your inner child doesn’t need your judgment; they need your presence.
💙 TRY THIS: The “Not Yet” Reframe
When you catch yourself in “I should be past this”:
- Pause and notice the judgment without adding judgment to the judgment
- Replace “I should be past this” with “I’m not past this yet—and that’s information, not failure”
- Ask your inner child: “What do you need me to know right now?”
- Listen without fixing. Just presence.
This simple reframe shifts you from shame (which blocks) to curiosity (which opens).
Pattern #2: The High-Functioning Override
What it looks like:
You’re so good at pushing through, achieving despite stress, and making it work no matter what. Your nervous system is constantly in overdrive, but you’ve normalized it as “just how I am.”
Why it keeps you stuck:
When high-functioning becomes your identity, slowing down feels like losing yourself. Your body is screaming for rest, but your conditioning says rest is weakness. You can’t transform from a state of constant activation.
The shift:
Regulating your nervous system isn’t about becoming less capable—it’s about becoming sustainable. The most powerful version of you isn’t the one running on adrenaline. It’s the one who can access calm, clarity, and creativity.
🌊 TRY THIS: The 4-7-8 Breath Reset
Use this when you notice yourself in override mode:
- Exhale completely through your mouth (whoosh sound)
- Inhale through your nose for 4 counts
- Hold your breath for 7 counts
- Exhale through your mouth for 8 counts (whoosh sound)
- Repeat 3-4 times
Why this works: The extended exhale activates your parasympathetic nervous system—your body’s natural brake pedal. You’re literally telling your nervous system “it’s safe to rest now.”
Bonus: Do this before important meetings, difficult conversations, or whenever you feel yourself speeding up.
Pattern #3: The “I Can Figure This Out Alone” Block
What it looks like:
You’re brilliant at solving problems—for everyone else. But when it comes to your own patterns, you believe you should be able to figure it out yourself. Asking for help feels like admitting defeat.
Why it keeps you stuck:
You can’t see your own blind spots. The patterns that keep you stuck are operating in your unconscious. No amount of thinking harder will reveal what you can’t see from inside your own system.
The shift:
Getting support isn’t weakness—it’s strategy. The fastest way to achieve a breakthrough is by working with someone who can see what you can’t. They can hold space for what wants to emerge.
💭 TRY THIS: The Blind Spot Reflection
Journal on these prompts:
- “If someone who loved me unconditionally could see my life right now, what would they gently point out that I can’t see?”
- “What would I tell my best friend if they were experiencing exactly what I’m experiencing?”
- “What am I pretending not to know?”
Why this works: These questions help you access your own wisdom by stepping outside your perspective. Sometimes you already know the answer—you just need permission to see it.
Pattern #4: The Intellectual Understanding Without Embodied Shift
What it looks like:
You understand your patterns perfectly. You can explain your triggers, name your past experiences, and articulate your growth edges. But nothing actually changes in your day-to-day life.
Why it keeps you stuck:
Transformation isn’t an intellectual exercise—it’s a somatic, emotional, and unconscious process. Your nervous system doesn’t care what you know; it responds to what you feel safe enough to release.
The shift:
Inner child work, breathwork, and somatic practices create the embodied shift that thinking can’t achieve. When your body feels safe enough to let go, transformation becomes possible.
🌿 TRY THIS: The Body Wisdom Check-In
When you’re stuck in your head:
- Pause whatever you’re doing
- Place one hand on your heart, one on your belly
- Ask your body: “What do you need right now?”
- Don’t think the answer—feel for it. Notice what sensations arise.
- Honor whatever comes (even if it’s “I don’t know yet”)
Then do ONE small thing your body is asking for: Stretch. Drink water. Move. Rest. Breathe deeply.
Why this works: Your body holds wisdom your mind doesn’t have access to. This practice builds the bridge between knowing and embodying.
Pattern #5: The “Once I Do/Finish/Transform This, Then I’ll…” Postponement
What it looks like:
Once you do/finish/transform XXX, then you’ll start that business, have that conversation, set that boundary, take that risk. The transformation becomes another prerequisite before living.
Why it keeps you stuck:
Waiting to be “transformed enough” is another form of the same pattern. It is believing you’re not enough as you are. Transformation doesn’t happen in isolation; it happens through living.
The shift:
You don’t need to be fully transformed to start living fully. Sometimes the breakthrough comes through taking the action you’ve been waiting to feel ready for. You become who you’re becoming by showing up as you are now.
✨ TRY THIS: The “Messy Action” Practice
Pick ONE thing you’ve been waiting to feel “ready” for.
- Ask yourself: “What’s the smallest, messiest version of this action I could take in the next 24 hours?”
- Not the perfect version
- Not the fully-prepared version
- The done-is-better-than-perfect version
- Set a timer for 15 minutes
- Take that messy action
- Draft the email (don’t send yet if you need to review)
- Record the voice memo
- Write the outline
- Book the call
- Set the boundary
Why this works: Transformation happens through action, not preparation. Waiting to feel “ready” is often the pattern itself. Taking messy action isn’t about building confidence through achievement—it’s about reclaiming the permission to move that was always yours. Each step proves to your inner child: you’re enough right now, exactly as you are.
🎁 BONUS PRACTICE: THE INTEGRATION RITUAL
After trying any of these practices, do this:
- Place your hands on your heart
- Take 3 deep breaths
- Say (out loud or silently):
- “I’m releasing the pattern of [name it]”
- “I’m resetting into [what you want instead]”
- “I’m rising into my authentic power”
Why I Know These Patterns So Well
I lived them.
After two decades in corporate risk consulting, I experienced firsthand what it’s like to be high-functioning and completely depleted. To understand all the concepts but still feel stuck. To achieve externally while feeling blocked internally.
My transformation from corporate risk consulting to what I now call “inner risk consulting” taught me a crucial lesson. The most significant risks we face aren’t external. They are the internal barriers that keep us from living our fullest lives.
I became a Certified Advanced Meditation Teacher through the davidji Meditation Academy. I also trained as a Transformational Coach at the Institute for Coaching Mastery. I wanted to understand not just what keeps us stuck, but how to create lasting change.
I’ve written two books—Holistic Vagus Nerve Reset and Inner Child Freedom. I am passionate about making these tools accessible to professionals. They are ready to break patterns, not just manage them.
Here’s What Changes Everything
Recognizing these patterns is the first step. But recognition without support often just creates more awareness of being stuck.
The breakthrough happens when you:
- Get clear on YOUR specific pattern (not just patterns in general)
- Identify what’s actually blocking your transformation (usually it’s not what you think)
- Access the deeper layers (beyond what you can see on your own)
- Receive practical tools you can implement immediately
- Create momentum from insight to action
This isn’t about more information. You already have plenty of information.
This is about transformation.
I’m Opening Up Free Breakthrough Sessions
If you recognized yourself in any of these patterns, I want to offer you something. If you’re tired of knowing what to do but not being able to do it, this is for you.
I’m opening up a limited number of complimentary 45-minute Breakthrough Sessions for professionals ready to move from stuck to empowered.
Why Am I Offering This?
Because I’ve been where you are. I know what it’s like to feel stuck despite doing all the “right” things. And I know what it takes to break through.
I also know that sometimes all it takes is one conversation. This conversation with someone who can see what you can’t. It has the power to shift everything.
These sessions aren’t about me convincing you to work with me. They’re about giving you clarity, insight, and tools you can use immediately, whether or not we ever work together
“But I’ve Already Tried Everything…”
I hear you. And that’s precisely why this is different.
This isn’t therapy (though therapy is valuable). This isn’t another book recommendation (though I love books). This isn’t surface-level mindset coaching.
This is about:
- Accessing the parts of you that thinking can’t reach
- Working with your nervous system, not against it
- Addressing patterns at the root, not just the symptoms
- Creating embodied shifts, not just intellectual understanding
If you’ve tried everything and you’re still stuck, it’s not because you’re broken. It’s because transformation requires a different approach than you’ve tried so far.
What’s Possible in Just 45 Minutes?
Obviously, 45 minutes won’t heal everything. But it can:
🌊 Give you clarity on what’s actually keeping you stuck (often it’s not what you think)
💙 Reveal the pattern underneath the pattern (the deeper layer you haven’t been able to see)
🌿 Provide immediate tools you can start using right away (not theory—practice)
✨ Create momentum from stuck to moving (sometimes all you need is the right question or insight to unlock everything)
And if deeper work together makes sense? We can explore that. Zero pressure. Just possibility.
Ready for Your Breakthrough?
I’m currently offering these complimentary Breakthrough Sessions to people who are:
✓ Tired of knowing what to do but not being able to do it
✓ Ready to break patterns, not just manage them
✓ Open to a different approach than what they’ve tried before
✓ Willing to go deeper than surface-level solutions
Here’s how to book:
👉 Click here to book your free Breakthrough Session
Or if you want to know more first, reply to this post or message me directly. I’m happy to answer any questions.
The patterns that have kept you stuck don’t have to keep you stuck forever.
Sometimes all it takes is one conversation to see what you couldn’t see before.
Let’s have that conversation.
Release. Reset. Rise. 🌊
— Myriam
P.S. These sessions are complimentary, but my calendar is limited. If you’re feeling the pull to book, trust that instinct. Your inner wisdom knows when it’s time. 👉 Book Your Free Breakthrough Session Here
💙 About Myriam Gareau
Myriam Gareau is a Transformation Coach and Certified Advanced Meditation Teacher. She is also an author specializing in inner child work and nervous system regulation.
Myriam spent 20 years as a Senior Manager in Risk Advisory Services at KPMG. She transformed her expertise from corporate risk consulting. She now calls it “inner risk consulting.” This new focus helps people break free from the internal barriers that keep them stuck.
Myriam graduated from the davidji Meditation Academy and studied at the Institute for Coaching Mastery (ICM). She blends business acumen with holistic practices. Her goal is to empower and guide clients from feeling blocked to feeling empowered.
📚 Books by Myriam
Holistic Vagus Nerve Reset
Practical tools for nervous system regulation and emotional resilience.
Inner Child Freedom
A guide to transforming your relationship with your inner child and reclaiming your authentic power.
🌊 Work With Myriam
Free Breakthrough Session
I’m currently offering complimentary 45-minute Breakthrough Sessions for those ready to break patterns, not just manage them.
👉 Book your session here
Corporate Workshops
Bring mindfulness, stress management, and emotional regulation tools to your organization.
📧 Contact: myriam@myriamgareau.com
One-on-One Coaching
Transformational coaching for lasting change through inner child work, nervous system regulation, and somatic practices.
📧 Contact: myriam@myriamgareau.com
🔗 Connect With Myriam
🌐 Website: www.myriamgareau.com/services
📸 Instagram: @free_ocean_spirit
💼 LinkedIn: Myriam Gareau
📘 Facebook: Myriam Gareau
💙 If this post resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to read it.
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